Of Doctors and what is really needed
by Naidoo
Summary: Captain Jack Harkness always thought he knew exactly what he needed. What if he was wrong and what he needed was right beside him, his to take? Rating is just to be on the safe side.


_A/N: I usually write for a different fandom, but I have been suffering writer's block since forever now and a few people suggested I should try out a new fandom - maybe it would help. So Torchwood was my choosen fandom - gotten into it recently. Massive thanks to the great people on my Fanfiction-Facebook account that actually pushed me to spread my wings and see what happens. According to them 'What's the worst that'll happen?' The main story is set between 'End of days' and ''Kiss Kiss Bang Bang' with minor spoilers for the later one, and a bit of borrowed conversation. This is my first ever Torchwood-story, so I ask to be gentle :)_

_Diclaimer: I obviously do not own Torchwood, or the characters._

* * *

Jack always knew the day would come. After all he had been told so as well. The day he'd meet the Doctor again and finally got some answers – and start a new adventure. He knew it sounded cruel, but all he had to do was wait, bid his time and somehow not die of boredom along the way. Hundred years was a loooong time and quite a wait. But he knew it'd be worth it. When he'd meet him again.

Torchwood had never been really part of his plan. It sort of happened. And he didn't have much choice in that regards. He basically got hired and had no say in it. Other than _yes_. He did his job, got paid for it and bid his time. For years that was his life. When he needed something that made him feel alive – as if hunting and fighting terrestrial life wasn't doing that already – he picked someone up. Anyone really. He did prefer his life all by himself, but occasionally even a Captain Jack Harkness needed a warm body by his side – or someone to share the night with. It always had been one-night-stands. He made sure they were.

Anything else would have been too complicated. Explaining them that he couldn't die, aged at a much slower pace than anyone else, never got sick or healed almost instantly – way too complicated. He preferred the way things were – especially with his knowledge of things ahead of him and the rest of the population. There were wars to fight and win, people to loose and crisis's to get through, governments to get rid of and a new world order to appoint.

Ianto Jones was not part of his plan either. A plan he technically still didn't have – not that it mattered. Ianto Jones was just…. there. Another someone for the night. Just that one night turned into two, into a week, into several weeks. They never labeled what they had, never really spoke about it. But for Jack it was always clear, this was what he had been having for the past century. Meaningless one-night-stands. He knew Ianto was invested emotionally. He knew the other man had been falling for him – hard. And yet, he didn't stop. After all Ianto could stop this himself if he wanted to – but Jack knew better.

"Let's do something tonight, Jack. A movie, some dinner, something fun," Ianto would say every now and then, trying to move them to something more than just a screw.

Jack would usually laugh at the suggestion. "You implying what we have been doing so far wasn't fun?" he'd ask, before saying firmly "No," to Ianto's suggestion. He tried several times and Jack never agreed, never wondering how that might Ianto feel actually.

Whenever the word 'Doctor' fell, Jack noticed the little shifts in the other man's expression. Although he never mentioned much, he knew his whole team knew the basics about the Doctor. They had to. The Doctor was after all the reason of Torchwood's existence. Their arch-enemy if you wanted to call him like that. Not that Jack agreed – he knew better after all. And he knew his team, knew they'd probably be asking questions first in regards of what exactly he did when they should ever capture him.

Jack knew that it wasn't jealousy that Ianto expressed. There was never yelling, or accusations. But then again, this was Ianto – a man so much in control of his emotions it even amazed Jack at times. Jack imagined that Ianto never really lost control of himself – well other than in Jack's bed of course, but that was a different story entirely.

No, what Ianto expressed seemed more like doubt. Doubt in himself and what he had with Jack – not that it was much they _had_. He suspected that Ianto felt like he always would compete with the Doctor, which was probably quite true. He knew eventually this would break the other man, comparing himself to the Doctor. But Jack quite honestly didn't care and quite frankly, when the time should come for this to happen, jack didn't plan on being here anymore. He would away, far, far away with his Doctor, hopefully getting a few questions answered.

When the Doctor eventually showed up, Jack was out the door within seconds, no goodbyes to anyone, no farewells, nothing. He had been waiting for this moment the past century and longer and finally it was here – he didn't have any time to waste. And then … everything changed. The year that never was happened and it changed Jack. Being chained up and killed every single day, just to come back to life and being killed all over again the next day could do that to a guy. It could change a few things and make you wonder. And wondering he did an awful lot. After all he had a year to think about everything and come to a few realizations himself. And strangely enough, all his thoughts revolved around one Welshman. His name was the last thought that was on his mind every day he died and his face was the last image he thought about, before the pain was impossible to bear.

It felt like a lifetime until this came to an end, longer than the last hundred years he had been waiting for the Doctor to appear. And when it was over – and the Doctor offered Jack pretty much what he had been waiting for all along – Jack turned him down. Much to his own and the Doctor's surprise.

"I really don't mind, though. Come with me," the Doctor said to him.

Jack smiled at him before saying "I had plenty to think that past year – the year that never was. And I kept thinking about that team of mine," he said, looking over his shoulder towards the Millennium Center, thinking about one specific person he thought about the most. "Like you said, Doctor. Responsibility."

"Defending the earth… can't argue with that," came the reply of the Doctor. And maybe _that_ was not on Jack's mind when he said responsibility.

And then he was running down the stairs, towards the Hub, towards his team, towards Ianto.

Thinking back about how he imagined his welcome back would be, he somehow had imagined it to be… warmer. To say the least. It looked like his team actually had moved on from him and got along fairly well. Not that he ever had doubted the capability of his team and its members and that they solely depended on him, but… somehow seeing it was different than just knowing it.

Yes he had suspected that coming back would not involve a huge party or the likes but looking at his team members, seeing the anger, the small amounts of rage and the disappointment in their faces… it was not a pretty sight.

"Where were you?" Tosh was the first to ask what was on everyone's mind.

And how should he explain this? How could he when none of them remembered the past year, but he did, very vividly, every painful moment?

"I found my Doctor," was all he said. Looking at Ianto for a quick moment he saw the understanding in his face, a realization followed with what Jack assumed was a conclusion.

"Did he fix you?" Owen asked.

"What's to fix?" jack asked, smiling. Maybe humor was the way to handle this. "You don't mess with this level of perfection."

And the humor seemed to work. He saw Gwen smiling at him for a moment, Tosh did the same and even Owen seemed to find it funny. Just Ianto's face was unchanged.

"Are you going back to him?" he heard the other man say a moment later. If he was honest he had expected that question – maybe, if there was still hope. But somehow he had expected it to come up in a more private environment, not when he was facing his whole team. And the way Ianto asked, the tone in his voice, the fear and worry that he would be gone the next moment… Jack didn't miss that either. At this moment he realized what a bastard he had been. What an idiot.

"I came back for you," Jack answered truthfully and serious, looking at Ianto, hoping there was still a chance they could make this work. Ianto's expression remained the same, unreadable for Jack. It could honestly mean anything. And Jack just hoped he hadn't screwed up completely. "All of you," he said a moment later, not wanting to exclude the rest of the team, hoping at the same time Ianto understood he was now a priority. A moment later the Rift monitor went off, leaving them all to do their job.

And the appearance of his old friend Captain John Hart certainly did not help to make things any easier. Judging by Ianto's expressions ever since he met Hart this would be a lot more difficult.

Of course they all knew about Jack's 'interest' in people, but knowing and actually meeting people from his past probably were two very different things. And judging by Ianto's ice cold behavior this would need quite a few things to fix the mess.

As it turned out, Gwen would give him part of the solution, by pairing him up with Ianto. Whether that was willingly or just by pure co-incidence Jack probably would never find out. But it certainly gave him an in. He spent the entire drive to the office building thinking about to say. Never in his life had he done _that_. He usually _always_ had a line or a clever remark to get a raise. But not this time.

Arriving at the building they had somehow managed to get to a small-talk basis, but Jack knew Ianto was distracted and not even listening to half the things he said. He even tried humor again, but nothing seemed to work. When Ianto interrupted him several times, talking serious about their current job, Jack got the message. And then he decided on a completely different tactic.

"How are you, Ianto?" he asked. A very simple question, and yet he never had asked it before.

"All the better for having you back, sir," came the quick answer. Maybe a bit too quick. And too polite. All the other team members had shown their anger and rage, had spoken their mind about Jack disappearing and now turning up again. All, but Ianto.

"Can we maybe drop the 'sir' now?" Jack asked, making a first step towards something…different. "I mean, while I was away, I was thinking maybe we could, you know, when this is all done…" he started, feeling slightly nervous. And he never had felt nervous before. Never.

He saw Ianto pacing up and down in front of him, not sure whether this was a reaction to what the other man might expect would come now, or whether he was still looking for something in all these drawers.

"Dinner, a movie…" Jack suggested, which made Ianto stop pacing instantly and look at the other man with a mix of surprise and curiosity.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Ianto asked, sounding a slightly bit stunned.

"Interested?" Jack asked instantly. At least it wasn't a 'No' right from the start. And maybe, yeah maybe, he should have actually answered Ianto's question not with a question of his own.

"Well, as long as it isn't in an office. Some fetishes should be kept to yourself," Ianto answered, pacing around again, making Jack wonder whether the younger man's answer couldn't just be out of politeness.

When he asked again, and got Ianto to say actually 'yes' it was a start, but certainly nothing to get excited about. And somehow he had a feeling had he been saying yes to one of Ianto's suggestions before he disappeared, Ianto would probably have reacted … more excited, happier, just in general more than the rather neutral response he got now. But for now he took what he could get.

A week later they still hadn't managed to set up a date – leave it to the Rift for bad timing to start getting hyperactive _now_. But Jack waited over 100 years for the Doctor, he could wait a few more days for their date. When he eventually mentioned it again to Ianto – when things had settled down to normal again – the other man seemed surprised.

"You were serious about that?" the Welshmen asked, looking surprised at Jack who was just as surprised about the question.

"Of course. Do you think I go around asking everyone out on dates?" Jack asked, meaning it as a joke.

"Actually I do," Ianto answered seriously. "But….um… sure, whenever suits you, probably works for me as well," he finally said, making Jack wonder whether that was another act of politeness.

"Tonight than, I pick you up at eight?" he asked, looking at Ianto, who looked at his watch.

"Eight sounds good. I see you then."

And of he was, leaving Jack's office and probably getting on his way home.

Jack had planned it out nicely, a good movie, some nice food afterwards, conversation: a classic first date really. But then he stood in front of Ianto's door, with the other man opening it and looking ready to go. And something changed. Jack knew he needed to shift gears, change plans, because he had a feeling a normal date was not his way back in. No, he needed another plan.

"I think we need to talk," he all of a sudden said, in a serious voice, seeing how Ianto looked at him surprised, but stepping aside and letting Jack in.

"What… do you want to talk about?" Ianto asked when he followed Jack through his apartment, finally settling down on the sofa.

"Everything that's us or was us…"

There was silence for a while, Ianto looked confused and Jack was somehow playing this by the ear.

They both sat on the same sofa, a certain distance between them and Ianto actually looked like was scared to touch Jack, like he actually had to restrain himself to not touch Jack.

"Tell me about him," Jack finally heard Ianto's voice echoing through the otherwise quiet apartment. The other man didn't look at him, though. His eyes were fixed on the coffee table in front of him.

There was a moment where Jack wasn't sure what or who Ianto meant, but realization sunk in quickly. Of course that would be the first thing he'd be inquiring about. The _Doctor_.

"Well, there isn't… much to say to be honest," Jack replied, not entirely sure what Ianto wanted to hear.

"Did you and him… I mean, was there ever…?" Ianto asked, without actually saying anything.

"No, never. The Doctor doesn't quite go… _that_ way. Or maybe he does …but well, no."

"Would you if you could?" Ianto asked, still not looking at him and Jack realized this was important. He had noticed before he had left that Ianto saw himself in competition to the Doctor. He probably thought he was just a place-holder, second choice really. And Jack didn't really do anything to prove him otherwise.

"Honestly?" Jack asked, seeing Ianto nod, but still not looking at him. "I thought I would and then… things happened. Things that made me realize a thing or two. When I said I came back for you, I meant that Ianto. For years, hell centuries even, I thought I was pinning after the Doctor. The man who abandoned me in 200.100 and I was wrong. Maybe it was the excitement and the danger, maybe he does look good in his suit, but trust me, not as good as you do," Jack explained, trying a bit of flattery.

That got him a smile. A start, he figured.

"I thought when I finally would find him, meet him again I would get a few answers about… back when he abandoned me. About what happened back then, what happened to me… I thought it would be back to this adventure. The things we did, saw, experienced. It was just…. incredible," Jack said, noticing that the last part made Ianto shift slightly, looking like he was uncomfortable.

"And did you get your answers?" Ianto asked, finally looking at Jack, ignoring the rest of what the other man had said.

"I did, but they were not as satisfying as I had hoped. And actually raised only more questions."

That gave him a questioning look from Ianto and Jack decided then and there he needed to tell him about the last year – the year that wasn't. He needed to if he wanted Ianto to see what had changed.

"So you died? Like 365 times?" Ianto asked, his voice still as neutral as when they started their evening.

"Yes and the… the only thing I could really think about every single time I did, the only person I ever thought about was you. And what we did, had, what I had with you, by my side. I guess I was so focused and obsessed in finding the Doctor again that I ignored that I really needed was already with my, by my side."

At that Ianto let out a laugh, one that sounded like he was still in doubt.

"You know, he offered…" Jack all of a sudden said, seeing Ianto looking at him again quizzically.

"Offered you what?"

"To come with him, start on a whole new adventure, see the world, the galaxies and …other things."

"And do you….?" Ianto asked, but before he could finish his question, Jack already replied.

"I turned him down, told him no, that I had things to look after, people to look forward to. He offered me what I had hoped he'd offer me and I turned him down. Because I knew that my place was not beside him but beside you," Jack said honestly and saw Ianto look at him with a small amount of doubt. And sure, he himself would probably question the motives as well, especially when all he had gotten from Jack until now was a night of fun and screwing around. So getting now all serious Jack was probably quite a shock to Ianto.

"I'm not quite certain what to say to that to be honest," Ianto said, looking truly lost for words.

"Then don't say anything and just…. feel," Jack almost whispered, shifting closer to Ianto and slowly moving his lips to cover his. It was a gentle kiss, and completely opposite to what they had so far always shared in moments of heat, passion and lust. It was perfect for maybe new beginnings and when he felt Ianto smile into the kiss, he knew he was on the right track.

He knew there was still a bit of work ahead of him to restoring Ianto's faith in this working out eventually and that he surely was no longer just a second choice or place-holder, that he no longer needed to compete for Jack's attention. But Jack knew it would be worth it in the end, and that he finally was where he needed to be. Not in time and space, inside a blue telephone box, but right here, right now, on planet Earth in Cardiff, in the arms of his lover.

"So you waited all this time for your Doctor, just to realize he was not what you needed?" Ianto asked when Jack let go of his lips again. "Quite a waste of time, sir."

"Well, I wouldn't really call it wasting. I hopefully got something good out of it," Jack replied, looking directly into Ianto's eyes and smiled softly at the other man.

Jack made it a point to not stay the night, to make sure Ianto knew this was not some scheme to get back into only his bed. And Jack knew they'd be okay. Eventually. And for now that was all that mattered.

**FIN**


End file.
